The Outcast Lexi
by JennyGraham
Summary: What if Lorelai and Luke had a daughter who felt like an outcast? What if to feel not invisible she threatened someones life? Kind of different and cheesy but just go with it.
1. Lexi's Life

I only own Lexi and Will as my own the other charcters are owned by the lovely people who wrote Gilmore girls yay!

Author's Note: okay so was really bored when i wrote this so sorry if it's too cheesy for people. I like the concept of the troubled daughter i think lore needed to experience a less perfect child. And I'm into the whole crazy motehr daughter realtionships so yeah. Please just go with it and review when your done.

My name is Lexi and I have lived in a very wacky town all my life. I have an older sister named Rory who is my mother's equal and best friend. Sense she had her at sixteen they are more friends then mother and daughter, wish I could say it was the same for me. I also have an older brother who is starting his sophomore year in college. His name is Will and he is 3 years older then me and while sometimes he can be annoying he also can be my hero. As much as I hate to say it I look up to him big time. My father is Luke Danes who owns believe it or not Luke's a diner in town. Some would say it's cool to have your dad own a diner but it's not so cool when your forced to work about everyday after school.

Now my mother, Lorelai Gilmore to be exact. She is like the queen of Stars Hollow beloved by all. She owns an inn in town named The Dragonfly again not so cool having to help her there as well as my dad. Now while I always here how Rory was my mother's perfect twin, like I had never seen the girl or something, I look nothing like my mother. The only thing I have are the blue eyes which no one notices that much anyway. I'm not pretty like Rory, I'm about five feet and very skinny and skeletal looking. I have long blonde hair that I always keep up in a ponytail. I know my mother thinks I'm ugly and shouldn't be her daughter but I try my best to stand out and be like her precious first daughter Rory.

A lot of people tend to not talk to me either. I get bad grades unlike Rory and I have only one friend who everyone hates unlike Rory. I walk around in a daze all the time with my hood on, the kindergarteners run from me and my age group makes fun of me. None of them ever knew my pain until that fateful day. But I'm not at the part of the story yet. To give a picture of how scary apparently I am I'll describe what I'm wearing on a regular basis I wear a black hoody with the hood always on, I wear Tripp pants and for those of you who are fashion depraved those are the pants covered in chains and black as night that you would find in a store like Hot Topic. On my feet I have black Vans. I think it's my make up that scares most. I don't use that white chalky make up shit seeing how my face is as pale as a ghost already. I do though use a lot of mascara and black eyeliner along with black eye shadow. I guess you could say I look like the living dead a bit.

My friend is just like me and were the only ones, I swear who wear black in this stupid town. I don't talk to anyone except Izzy and she doesn't talk to anyone except me and that's how we like it. We take pleasure in seeing the kindergarteners run and sneer as we walk by the cheerleaders who laugh or gawk at us. My whole family despises me except my brother who actually sees me for who I am, everyone else is just disappointed. They had know idea what I could be so upset about.

Oh yeah almost forgot, my grandparents. Well they are basically rich snobs to put it in a nut shell. My mother hates them and basically everyone does but for some strange reason we go eat with them on Friday nights. Even though everyone complains and someone is usually in tears by the end of the night. Recently the tears are caused because of me. You see my grandfather isn't that bad but he usually shuts himself in his study until dinner. I think he's afraid I worship the devil or something. My grandmother is the complete opposite she isn't afraid at all she's more angry then anything. I sit there and she blames my mom for all my mistakes and then yells at me and I just sit there and ignore her the best I can. My mother ends up crying and runs out, my dad on her heels. Then I get up make an obnoxious bow to really piss my grandmother off then walk out. That usually happens well almost every Friday night except the nights it's just total silence. Or once in awhile Rory decides to join the circus of events and yells at me after I do nothing to help mom. But that's basically it I don't really pay that much attention on Friday nights.


	2. The Master Plan

My psychiatrist always says I'm looking for attention and that there is no need because I have such a loving family. Boy does she know nothing, my parents smart idea because they didn't know how to handle me. I guess they figured they could just push me off to someone else and that I would magically be like Rory and not, well Lexi. I guess she was right a little bit but she just didn't know it yet.

Okay so now that you know who I am I guess it's time I start to reveal exactly what happen to ruin well, I guess my family's life. Who knew? It was a normal day or so they thought I knew it was a day they were all going to see me for once. I had planned it for months and now the final day had come. I got up got dress applied my usual make up and headed out without any word to anyone. I was going straight to school early that morning, ditching any breakfast my mother wanted to have at my dad's diner. I went straight to the library walk passed the librarian and the office so they thought I had actually went to school. Then I left and headed for The Dragonfly feeling a thrill rise inside me. It was finally happening I would get what I want.

I snuck into my mother's office without that stupid French man who always sits behind the counter seeing me. Or that bubbly cook who happens to be my mom's best friend. I sat under my mother's desk and pulled the knife from my bag. I figured while I waited I could make my day even better by dragging that blade across my wrist a couple times. Adding a little drama to the shock my mom was in for. Blood rushed from beneath my skin and I smiled it was perfect, everything was set in place. That's when I heard the door click open and then shut again.

Tears started to roll down my cheeks as I heard her heels clicking against the hardwood floor. I don't know if I was crying out of nervousness or if I was just scared but I knew the tears would add even more drama. Just at the right moment I stepped out from under her desk and without her knowing stood right behind her. Then it was time before she notice a figure lingering behind her. My arm without the knife quickly wrapped around my mother's waist producing a scream from her. Then before she could react I had the other hand holding the knife right next to her neck, I felt her body shake and knew that she wasn't escaping and I had her full attention. The best part was at that point is she had no idea who was holding a knife to her neck. She became silent once she saw the knife and I felt a sob wrack her body and I let a sob escape from my throat as tears poured down my face still.

If she hadn't known who it was before she now knew. Just because my mom hardly ever paid attention to me didn't mean she hadn't heard me cry deep into the night, every night. I felt her take a shaky breath in before she uttered my name with such fear that it made me cry even more. Without meaning to my arm around her waist tightened and she let her free hand clasp over mine. I let my own shaky breath out. I knew there was one thing I had to say before I went through with my plan. " Finally, you noticed." Before she uttered a word I shoved her out the office door keeping the knife right to her neck. Sure she is much taller then me but she willingly went, she knew that I could possibly have it in me to cut her.

The obnoxious French man sitting at the desk of course noticed us first. He started to scream something in French which frankly was giving me a headache. But all his screaming had gotten the bubbly cook out of the kitchen and her eyes immediately filled with tears. My mother didn't utter a word I think she was shocked still that I was holding a knife to her throat. So I screamed to the French man to keep my plan in motion. " Call my dad and tell him to come or his wife's death would be his own fault. Then call my sister, Rory and tell her the same thing except for it being her mother. Go now!" Frenchy got right to work so I turned my attention to bubbly who continued to sob. " Shut up and get back to cooking, I'm sure you have guests to feed!" She looked to my mom but then ran off to her kitchen, I'm sure to cry even more. My mom has such idiotic friends I thought to myself.

Soon my dad had arrived and my sister, precious Rory whose eyes were full of tears. My dad told Frenchy to leave and to take Rory with him to the kitchen. God, he always tried to control everything but I let him this time. He was going to try be my mother's hero I was interested how he would handle this one. Soon he looked to me seriously I could easily tell he was pissed. " What the hell do you think your doing? This isn't a game Lexi, let your mother go this instant." I giggled a little bit apparently he didn't know who held the knife.

" I'm afraid it doesn't work that way dad! You see this time I'm the one who is in charge not you, not anymore." My dad I swear had steam coming out of his ears. But somewhere in his blue eyes I saw worry and not for just his wife but possibly me. But it wasn't enough he wouldn't let it show. He was just angry with me he didn't care that something was wrong with me just that I was threatening his wife.

" This is not funny young lady, don't think I won't call the cops on my own daughter, because I will."

" And dad don't you think I won't cut my own mother's throat the minute you touch the phone. You know I have it in me, she even knows that." I watched my dad hold his head in his hand for a moment and saw tears start to fall from his face that's when Rory decided to make her appearance. Clearly she was angry also, but really scared for her mother's life.

" Lexi, please don't hurt mom! I don't know what the hell is wrong with you but you can't do this. You sick little mental case you let her go right now!" I felt anger boil up inside me as Rory screamed at me but that's when I felt my mother's hand tighten her hold on my own hand that lay still on her waist . She really was understanding my emotions and knew what would anger me more. Finally she actually spoke up, I thought she would of stayed silent through the whole thing.

" Rory please go back into the kitchen, don't worry everything will be fine." Rory made eye contact with my mother then slowly walked back into the kitchen. Once the kitchen door closed my father went back to trying to talk to me.

" Please Lexi, we will all sit down and talk just let your mother go. everything will be better you'll see." I sobbed then let out a dry laugh.

" You really think that's all it's going to take dad. I am way past a talk, I want to have you proud of me. I want you and mom to treat me for who I am and not for who I should be. Your just like grandma the both of you!" As I spit my last word at my father I felt a hand grasp me around the waist and the hand that held the knife.

" Drop the knife Lexi and let her go." I knew that voice anywhere and tears poured down my cheeks. I knew it was all over and I would never be noticed again. I sobbed loudly and let go and watched until the knife crashed to the ground making probably the loudest sound I had ever heard. The sound of my failure. Quickly I felt Will hold my wrists together against my back as I sobbed harder and struggled to be set free but he was to strong for me. I watched as my father held my sobbing mother and knew she would never love me like she loved Rory. She would never give me a second glance, not now, not ever.


	3. Room 228

An that's how I got here where I sit right now. Room 228 at Hartford's Mental Facility, all locked up like a animal. It was such a blur now when the doctors had dragged me from The Dragonfly. I had kicked and screamed and tried to fight back to my mother to hold on to her and never let go. What she probably will never know is that I threatened to kill her so she would love me more. I just wanted her to care for me and love me the way she loved Rory. Now that would never happen seeing as how I had been here a month and not one visitor not even Izzy came to see me. I was completely alone in the world except for some freak shows who wanted to be my friends here in freak show city.

I spend most of my time sitting in this room, room 228. I stare laying on my bed at the ceiling all alone. At least I didn't have to bunk with a freak, I guess they thought I was dangerous. The rest of the time I'm being talked to by about a gazillion dumb psychiatrists and doctors. I never say anything to them sense I came here I have been completely mute. You wouldn't believe how many stupid things these so called doctors have tried to get me to speak. But I have vowed to myself to never speak again not to anyone. My wrist is wrapped apparently I had cut really deep. It doesn't matter though my mom hadn't even noticed the cuts. My mother had not cared one bit all she wanted was to be safe and with her perfect family minus one, me.

One day the stupid doctors had forced me to go into the place where all the freaks can hang out together. It was crazy lot's of screaming and crying, like I was suppose to have fun or something. This one freak actually had the nerve to come up to me. Alright so he wasn't that much of a freak like the others but he had asked me what I had done to get here. Of course I hadn't answered, I'm a mute now and I was going to stay that way. But now the stupid kid keeps coming to my door and knocking. I never answer, I'm not here to make any friends.

Today I met with a new psychiatrist she was pretty wacky herself. Reminded me of one of those bubbly kindergarten teachers and a little bit of that cook at The Dragonfly. I just sat there and listen to her go on and on about something or other. I've noticed that I can't concentrate on anything sense I came here I'm always just blank. Like a vegetable, no thoughts at all. But she seemed nice I guess, she was better then some of the old doctors around here.


	4. Will's Visiting Rights

It's been a couple months now and still no visitors not even Will has come to see me. I'm feeling completely alone in the world surrounded by freaks who scream long into the night. I guess I probably wouldn't be able to sleep anyway but the screaming still gives me headaches. I feel as if my head will never stop pounding from all the noise in this freak show city.

I have continued to see only the bubbly psychiatrist whose name I can never remember. I sit and she talks, I'm still not even sure what about but it's nice to hear her voice go on and on and she doesn't pressure me to talk. I heard other doctors say she getting such a good response out of me. I don't know what's wrong with them because I haven't uttered a word to the women.

I guess I do have a little bit of good news the bubbly one told me that she would try to have a visitor for me today. I think she is trying to make me talk or edging towards it but she hasn't put pressure on me like the other stupid doctors in this place. Hopefully when I go see her today someone I know will be sitting in her office. It would be good to see someone familiar other then freaks all day.

It was Will, boy was I happy to see him so much I almost screamed his name but I held back. The bubbly one let us sit and well he talked by ourselves for awhile. He told me how school was and how Rory was doing at Yale. I frowned at that but tried to stay brave. I did notice though he very smoothly went around any subject about mom. I was depressed over that it would of been nice to hear if she had missed me at all. But I knew not to get my hopes up, she didn't love me anymore probably the only person who did the slightest bit was Will. It felt a little good to know someone still cared for me a little bit out there. Through the whole conversation Will begged me to talk and tell him what I was thinking when I risked Mom's life. But I would just shake my head and nod for him to keep telling me about himself or whoever.

Will seem to get frustrated with me though at the end of our meeting, he just couldn't understand why I wouldn't say a word. " Just say one word Lexi that way I can know you at least are hearing me." I would just shake me head at him and stare until he would talk about something else. Then though he said something that my brain can't make out still it's almost like I don't want to believe it's true because I don't want to get my hopes up. " Lexi they won't ever let you see her unless you talk to them. If you tell them what went wrong they might not think your dangerous. Lexi they told me not to say anything but I can't do that to you. Mom can't stop crying, she has just now started to come out of her room. She misses you kid and wants so much to know what she did wrong and to help you. These doctors though they say they can't let her see you until they know you are safe. I'm not sure what that means but maybe if you just talked to them they might actually be able to help." That's the last thing he said to me before the bubbly one came back and told him he had to leave.

I tried to breath and calm myself as she took her seat but I couldn't control the anger at the news I had just heard. I felt bad seeing how Will could probably get in trouble for telling me but I didn't care. The bubbly one whose name had just come to me in all my anger, Sarah Gillis was her name but she must of notice something different in my face. " Are you alright Lexi? What did you and Will talk about" To say she looked a bit shock about what happen next was completely false and I don't think it was because it was the first time I had ever spoken.

" How could you fucking do this to me!? I thought she didn't care, I thought no one cared about me and now I hear you are keeping them from me. For Christ sakes you are a doctor you think you would know what would help me and what wouldn't. So clearly this idea of yours sucks, Damn it!" I had stood up in my anger and paced then punched the wall as I ended my rant. Now the tears started and I couldn't stop them, I sat back down on the chair and hugged my knees to my chest. That's when Sarah Gillis came and knelt in front of me. She touched my hand gently and rubbed it she looked really concerned and maybe a little bit apologetic.

" I don't want to be harsh or bring up harder things for you to swallow right now but I need to understand something. Lexi you are talking about your mother right? If you are then you have to explain to me why you were the one pointing the knife to her throat, because clearly my dear you miss your mother." At this point I had lost all the cool bad kid attitude and held tightly to her hand and swallowed another sob. There really was no use in lying anymore or keeping it all to myself.

" She wouldn't notice me no one would for that matter. I was slipping so far away from them and they didn't care. I can't be what they want me to be so I went for something else something they would at least notice. I'm sorry I can't do this Miss. Gillis."


	5. Back in 228 with a Doctor?

An again that's how I ended back here in my room number 228 but it was safer to feel my emotions by myself I understood them me and me alone I didn't want anyone else to have to understand them. Even if the bubbly doctor wasn't so bad after all, I was to ashamed of how I felt. I couldn't even stop my own tears now it seemed as my emotions had taken over everything that I had fought so hard to get control of here in this mental facility. That's when a knock came to my door and I screamed at it to go away and don't come back. Instead of listening to me though the door opened and there stood the freak that never gave up. I shook my head and squinted at him why was this kid always wanting to be my friend didn't he know I had other things to worry about.

" I'm sorry I know you are going through stuff right now it's just well I really would like to get to know you." The kid smiled the goofiest smile that I probably would of made fun of if I wasn't such a mess. He seemed normal compared to some of the other freaks around here and fairly nice.

" Look kid I know I haven't been the nicest person in the world but I really need to be alone right now." He smiled making me think he would actually leave but he did the opposite he closed the door behind him and sat in front of me on my bed. " What are you doing?"

" Well you see when I want to be alone sometimes I find it's good to be alone with someone else. So you have your alone time and I will too, you'll see it works great."

" But what if I actually really want to be alone." I couldn't believe this kid did he not understand English.

" Shh.. you can't be alone if we are talking it doesn't work that way." I watched as he lay back against the wall and close his eyes. I shrugged my shoulders he wasn't hurting anything by being there as long as he was quiet. So I to leaned back and closed my eyes trying to breath normal. Soon I forget he was even there and I was back inside my head trying to calm every emotion I came too. Although this time it was working a little bit maybe because of his presence or just the sound of his breathing but soon my tears stopped and my body stopped shaking. After awhile I opened my eyes and discovered his eyes were open too. " See I told you. I'm Adam and you are?"

" I'm Lexi, and thank you Adam for letting me be alone it really did help. How did you figure that trick out?" I watched him stretch and then look back at me with that goofy smile again.

" Well the doctors wouldn't let me be alone anymore in my room. So I had to figure out something, it takes awhile but I can actually be alone even in the community room."

" Well that's very impressive when they put me there I thought I was going to die."

" I know I saw you, not like creepy or anything but I noticed you. I felt the same way and just noticed the look you were wearing. I'm glad to see your at least talking now that means your probably close to getting out of here. Usually after mutes stop being mutes they leave in a month or so."

" Oh really and how do you know all this Dr. Adam?" I smirked at him as he gave me a glare.

" I'm not a doctor far from it actually. I just have been here for a long time either no one wants to take me home or I'm still screwed up in the head." I glanced down but then looked back up at his goofy grin again he wasn't mad or sad that he was here it seemed like he liked it here.

" Well if you don't mind me asking what has gotten you in here so long." His grin faltered a bit but then he smiled bravely again.

" If I say then you say Lex." I nodded at him and thought of how he was the only person who had ever shortened my name I mean it was already only four letters but I decided I liked it. " Well I use to live with my dad but I got taken away from him when I was younger because he hit me and stuff like that. It was fine though because I got to live with great foster parents. Things though started going downhill for me when I would get so angry and couldn't control my anger I would end up hurting someone. Unfortunately that happen to be my little foster brother. My foster parents didn't know what else to do they loved me but they knew I had a problem so they put me in here. They always visit though it's just my anger still won't let me control it. Most of the time I'm normal but sometimes there will be weeks where I have to be locked in my room so I don't hurt people."

I nodded and decided it wasn't that bad of a deal to be angry sometimes and it all made sense in my mind he must have a temper from his father that's all. I really didn't want to tell my story after his, mine was much worse or at least I thought it was. " Well I guess it's my turn, and no judging because I already feel awful about it all. I was always sort of different then my older sister who my parents adored. I tried I really did but all that came out of the process was me. I lashed out and dressed in dark and started to just fade away into my own cool bad kid world. I took it to far when I threaten to kill my own mother in front of my family in her own Inn. I was never going to hurt her I just needed them to see me again, I was slipping to far away from them." Without knowing I had stared at the bed cover the whole time and when I looked into Adam's eyes they weren't frightened or angry they just understood. " So Dr. Adam what's your cure for me?"

He got that goofy look on his face again and held his chin like he was really pondering. Then he stood up and paced the room back and forth much like some of the doctors here do. " For you Miss. Lex I think you must survive the torture of Ticklenitess." Adam had said it so seriously that I was already laughing before he started to tickle my stomach. Finally he stopped and looked at me seriously " Also I think you need to be loved by your mother more then you can handle. Which I'm sure she does she just got distracted for awhile because who couldn't adore you." I smiled at him probably the first real smile I have smiled in a long, long time.

" You Dr. Adam are the only doctor I would ever go too." He again smiled a big goofy smile and I playfully pushed him off my bed onto the floor. It was funny really I had just met the kid but it felt like we had been friends for ages. Truly though he was my doctor because when I wanted to be alone and sad he let me but in the end that made me smile for the first time.


	6. Dr Adam's love,Doctor Gillis's Surprise

A couple weeks past and for some reason the doctors told me I wasn't allowed to have sessions with Miss. Gillis anymore. Actually I didn't have sessions with anyone and weirdly I missed the bubbly one. Really except for that the last two weeks were not so bad, not with Adam always by my side. We would be alone with each other and other times we would just hang out like two normal teens. He actually got me use to the community room were we spent a lot of our time now. That's exactly what we were doing today just having a good time in the community room when a doctor I had never met came to get me. I stopped laughing and looked at Adam " No seriously Adam why do you think they stopped my sessions." Adam seem to really think it over then snap his fingers.

" Lex you don't need sessions anymore there probably just letting you get ready to conquer the world by yourself without a doctor." I smiled sometimes he was to smart for his own good.

" Dr. Adam you are just to smart for your own good. Besides I will always have one doctor right?" That goofy grin came to his face and he pointed to himself and then nodded.

" Of course even if I'm still the farthest thing from a doctor." All of a sudden we both became aware a real doctor was standing right in front of us from where we sat. " What's up Doc.?" Adam smiled at him but the doctor didn't return it he just turned to me.

" Lexi, I'm Dr. Stern you are going to have to come with me for awhile." I looked over at Adam and he smiled bravely so I got up and followed the doctor. Dr. Stern stopped in front of Miss. Gillis's office and I looked up at him confused.

" I thought my sessions have been stopped. What's going on Dr. Stern?" Dr. Stern opened the door for me and just pointed inside without a word. I looked at him confused again but walked in and jumped when the door slammed behind me. I walked in slowly and saw Miss. Gillis at her desk reading. I walked up to her desk and tapped her hand she looked up at me and smiled. " What's going on? Why did our sessions stop and why did you call me here today especially with that creepy doctor?"

Miss. Gillis shook her head and touched my hand gently. " For a girl who was mute you sure do ask a lot of questions. Mr. Stern is just rough on the edges he is actually a pretty sensitive guy if you get to know him. Now why don't you sit down and I'll explain everything." I backed up and sat in the chair but instead of staying behind her desk she pulled up a chair right next to me. " Lexi our sessions had to stop because I was away for awhile. The reason they didn't replace me was because well I was away fighting for you and I asked them to leave you be. I'm surprised though because some doctors have told me they have seen you around Adam Canter and maybe saw a few smiles escape. Now are they pulling my leg or is this true?" I shook my head at her trying to hide my smile that happen when someone mentioned Adam.

" Yes we're friends but wait way were you away? What were you fighting for? Miss Gillis please tell me what's going on." A bubbly, excited grin showed up on her face but she shook her head at me.

" I'm sorry I don't want to ruin the surprise but just know it's a good thing. Plus that I won the fight and I'm sure everything is about to turn up hill for you very fast. The sad part is you will probably be leaving soon." My eyes cast downward I didn't know if I wanted to leave anymore. In this place people noticed me and I had Adam now I couldn't just leave him here. " And that's what this session is for. For you to get use to that fact and sort of get your real world legs underneath you again."

" Miss. Gillis I don't really think I'm ready. People here notice me and care about me but out there in the real world it's not the same story." She seem to think about this and then leaned forward towards me and whispered.

" Sweetie you may not know it but I promise you there are a lot of people out there that love you very much. It really stinks that they missed out last time but maybe we should give them a second chance. Plus this isn't goodbye because you my darling are going to visit me and Adam." I nodded my head but then let my eyes drop to the floor as I felt that I couldn't hold onto my tears anymore. Tears rolled down my cheeks but Miss. Gillis lifted my chin and smiled then wiped the tears. " Trust me, the real world isn't so bad after you leave here it's like seeing it for the first time. I was in your seat once and well I just know these things."

" You really aren't so bad are you. Thank you and I mean that for everything." Miss. Gillis smiled and hugged me tight as we both stood.

" Hey It was all you babe really I didn't do a thing. Oh yeah and make sure to meet me here Monday at nine and don't be late."

I nodded and then left the office heading back to room 228 were I sit now. Adam was with me we were having our alone time but this time I didn't want to be alone I needed my Dr. Adam. " Adam I don't want to leave." Adam opened his eyes and looked over at me from where he sat on the floor. He stood up and sat next to me on my bed.

" Yes you do Lex, you will just miss me that's all. It will nice to be missed and have something to look forward to when you come and visit. Who knows maybe if you leave it will get my anger motivated to control itself and let me leave to." I nodded and tried to smile as more tears fell from my eyes. He wrapped one arm around me and we both laid back against the pillows.

" Dr. Adam why can't you heal yourself because now you are leaving me being healed and alone." Adam playfully touched my nose then squeezed his arm tighter around me.

" Lex don't you see you have healed me. I haven't been angry once sense I have met you that's how I know I won't be far behind when you leave. I promise the moment I'm out of here I'm going to come find you and we will celebrate." I nodded again and laid my head against his head and closed my eyes and realized I never needed to be alone again.

Monday morning came and I was happily leaning against Adam who sat next to me against the wall right next to Miss. Gillis's office. She wasn't there yet so I was resting my eyes it was way to early for me. I felt Adam nudge me a little bit and I fluttered my eyes open to see Miss. Gillis standing over us with a bubbly smile on her face. " Well good morning you two." Adam and I stood up and greeted Miss. Gillis then Adam excused himself for his own session with a doctor. " Are you ready for today?" Miss. Gillis ask me this as she unlocked her door and walked in with me on her heels.

" I guess as ready as I can be for a day that I have no idea what is going to happen." She turned her head toward me and grinned probably proud that she had kept this a secret from me. I frowned a little " Please just tell me I swear I'll act surprised." Miss. Gillis sat down at her desk and I stood right in front of it staring her down.

" Your pout has no power over me Lexi, sorry I just don't want to ruin it for you. You just have to be patient." I sat down on one of the chairs and crossed my arms. She just sat there and shook her head at me with a smirk.

" Fine then when is this surprise suppose to happen." Just as Miss. Gillis went to open her mouth a knock came to the door. She held up her finger then got up to answer the door. I didn't bother looking over it was probably another patient or doctor about some boring thing or another. Instead I focused my eyes on all the weird little knick knacks that were displayed on Miss. Gillis's desk. I heard the door click closed so I turned to look at Miss. Gillis.


	7. The Love Of A Mother

There she stood with the most biggest bubbly smile I had ever seen her display and for good reason seeing how my mom stood right beside her. Tears immediately came to my eyes but I couldn't make myself move or make a noise. I noticed my mom was crying and didn't look like her usual independent self. Finally my legs started to work and I stood up and ran to her just as she moved toward me. I buried my head into her neck and hair and wrapped my arms as tight as I could around her. I felt sobs wrack my body but I didn't care all I cared about was my mom was there and wait she was actually hugging me back. I felt her own arms tighten around my waist then I felt her own sobs shake her body. That's when I choked out what I had wanted to tell her for so long " I'm so sorry mom, I love you so much." My mom breathed in sharply at what I had said and for a second I thought I had done something wrong already and I pulled away a little.

She wouldn't let me though she pulled me back into her embrace and held onto me like she thought I would disappear. " Oh my baby girl I'm the one who owes you the biggest apology. I should of known, I should of tried to help you. I am so sorry and I just hope you can forgive me and give me a second chance to help." That's when I backed out of my mom's embrace even though she resisted me from doing so. I wiped some of my tears but they wouldn't stop flowing and I looked directly at her.

" Will you love me ever as much as Rory? I need to know that you love me mom." Sobs wracked my body so hard that I lost my legs from underneath me luckily Miss. Gillis had moved smoothly before I fell to the floor and stabled me and then she stepped away not wanting to interfere. I stared intently at my mother as her face all in one swoop got very serious. She took my hand and lead me to a couch in the office and sat me down facing her.

" Lexi, I'm sorry that you ever thought we loved Rory more then you. I know I should of paid more attention to you and maybe showed more love then I did. The truth is little one I love you so much that it hurt to see you the way you were before. I think I was scared so I pulled myself even farther away from you. But I will always love you guys the same, of course your different from Rory but I love you for you. Do you understand me Lexi I don't want you to ever think that I don't love you. That day when you held that knife to my throat I think I loved and cared for you even more. You stood up for yourself maybe not the right way but you did and well I could never be that brave." My mom looked at me waiting for a answer that I understood that she did love me. I think I believed her it's just I believed so long she didn't it might take awhile for my heart to heal. At this point though none of that really mattered I just wanted to stay in my mother's arms as long as possible so I nodded my head and breathed out in relive when her arms wrapped around me again tightly.

My head was buzzing though with questions of how my mother could love me or not hate me after what I had done. I tried to erase them by holding tighter onto her and then smelling in her familiar scent but my head just didn't agree with my heart. Unfortunately my mouth did agree with my head. " Mom, I don't understand I did probably the most awful thing a kid could do to their mom but you still love me. Will said not only did you love me but you missed me and that you weren't doing so well because you couldn't see me." Again my mom pulled away from me and looked right into my eyes I'm not sure what she saw in them but they seem to concern her.

" Alright missy you listen up because my heart may only allow me to get through this once. Now you know the story of how me and your father met and then how we married and had you. You should also know that your father adored you and even if you were the world's biggest daddy's girl you also shared an amazing talent of not letting him know anything about you. Only limited amounts of news did I receive from you as well and me and your father became concerned at how independent you were at a young age. We loved you through everything though and even as you sprouted into a well, teenager. We didn't hate you because you weren't perfect Rory we were scared for you. Lexi you seemed to be going through so much pain but no one knew why and you wouldn't let anyone in except the occasional conversations with Will. But even Will wouldn't tell us anything after you talked with him. So I have a question for you before I answer your question and you have to be truthful because honey if you hide anymore we might end up back here. There was something wrong before you thought I didn't love you and maybe we should start there to help you. Lexi you have to tell me what went wrong." I looked to the floor but mom waited patiently though for me to answer.

I fought a war in my head about what to tell my mother. I decided with the truth who knows it might feel good to tell my mother. " It was always Rory mom. I know the story how you had her at sixteen and have been best friends ever sense. It can never be like that for us though and I never really understand why it just is the truth. I became so independent and hidden not only because of my shyness but because I thought I had to prove to you I was brave and able to do stuff like Rory also because I was scared if I asked you would be to busy helping Rory. I didn't want to set myself up for getting hurt I don't mean to call for so much attention but I don't know something is wrong with me." I placed my face in my hands and sobbed loudly as I felt my mother rub my back gently. Eventually mom lifted my chin to look at me in the eyes again. I felt that I was so hopeful and so frightened to be hurt at the same time and my mom must of saw all of that in my eyes.

" Nothing is wrong with you, your just really your father's daughter. Luke always was sensitive and hidden in himself and called for more attention then he ever let on. It just worked out that I gave him more attention then he ever wanted or needed. Now I see though that I should of been doing the same for you and I'm so sorry I haven't been it's just I saw me in you as well. You were brave and independent you never seemed to want the attention while your dad was always having the longing sad look in his eyes he's not to good at hiding it but you my little one are an expert. So I let you do what you wanted and let you find your on path I thought I was doing the right thing by not standing in your way. I concentrated on Rory who had always needed me to be there and I fear I baby her where as I should treat you the way I treat her and treat her the way I treat you. And sweetheart you never have to prove anything to me I know you are brave and such a amazing kid I have known that sense the day you were born. That's also exactly how I am not even phased by what happen at the inn. I realized soon after how much of it was my fault and I should of seen it coming." I swallowed hard as more tears drenched my face and I buried into my mother's neck holding again to her as tight as possible. My mom returned the hug almost a bit more tighter then me.

" Mom, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but I need you more then anyone will ever understand I need your love so much. I love you mom." Mom held tight to my head that rested on her shoulder.

" Little one those are the most beautiful words that a mother could ever hear. Lexi Danes I love you so much that my heart might explode today of love, as cheesy as that sounds."

Author's Note: not sure if this is the end? if you think it should be the end tell me but if you want more i am willing tot ake suggestions? just lead me on where you want me to go with it plz. hope you have enjoyed : ) review pretty please with a cherry on top!!


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